SIX - THE REASON I WRITE POETRY
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A. WorldPeace Metaphysics Definitiion
B. The Conscious Influence of Poetry on Dr. John WorldPeace JD
C. What is a poet?
A. WorldPeace Metaphysics Definition
I consider poetry the metaphysical language. I define metaphysics as it relates to the connection between Intangible Spirituality and Tangible Physical Reality.
There are two concepts of God. The all-inclusive God and the personal God. The personal God is a subset of the all-inclusive God. I define the all-inclusive God as the Infinite Potential from which all things materialize and back into which all things disintegrate “There is no place God is not.” I call the Tangible Physical Reality the Earth Dreamscape. It is not really tangible. It just seems more tangible than the Spiritual Dimension.
There are infinite dimensions of the Spiritual Dimension. The apex of the Spiritual Dimension does not distinguish time or space. There is only the Now. The Earth Dreamscape is all about duality. Everything is defined by its opposite. Light and dark, bad and good, high and low. The human vehicle mind is not capable of imagining a non-dualistic reality: without darkness, there is no light or without light, there is no darkness.
The nature of this reality is change. All things that manifest in the Earth Dreamscape in time disintegrate back into the Infinite Potential. The Spiritual Dimension is infinite and immortal. The Earth Dreamscape is finite and mortal
The Spiritual Dimension is the foundation of the Earth Dreamscape. The Earth Dreamscape is a projection of the Spiritual Dimension not the reverse.
In the Earth Dreamscape, infinite immortal souls incarnate in a finite mortal human body (vehicle). Without an incarnate soul (spirit) the body is just dead meat. The same as an automobile without a driver. You can kill a human body, but you cannot kill the incarnate spirit. For me, a “human being” is the body-mind-spirit construct. You can kill the human being construct by killing the body or by the soul leaving the body. But you cannot kill the soul. So when a baby is aborted or a convict is executed or a human is euthanized, the body dies, the human being ceases to exist but the soul is unaffected foundationally. We are all affected temporarily by transitioning from the Spiritual Dimension to the Earth Dreamscape and vice-versa.
In order for the soul to experience the Earth Dreamscape, the human body has limited senses. If the human body had infinite hearing there would be too much irrelevant background noise and chatter to focus. Souls incarnate to experience a more intense limited aspect of the Infinite Potential; the Earth Dreamscape.
In a word, we can have a certain level of love in the spiritual dimension that is euphoric but it is not as intense as a love that has a sexual dimension in the Earth Dreamscape.
There is no sex in the spiritual dimension (heaven is a sub-dimension of the Infinite Potential in which Jesus says the resurrected body, or soul body, is like that of an angel; no gender.) Heavenly bodies have no gender because souls cannot create other souls. Only God can create souls. Heaven (A Spiritual Dimension) has some aspects of duality, the Infinite Potential does not.
The above are some of my basic definitions with regard to metaphysics and are the basis of all poetry..
My personal global focus is increasing the level of peace in the world human society. This is my WorldPeace Advocacy. Everything I do is related to my WorldPeace Advocacy. It is the template by which I consider and measure everything.
This is important: Many people accuse me of being scattered. I am absolutely not scattered. The problem is that people cannot make the connections between what I am doing in poetry and art as it relates to Politics, Judicial Systems, Corporate Religion, my businesses and my WorldPeace Advocacy. Even when I explain the common denominators in these systems the majority of people simply cannot wrap their head around the connections. The problem is the fact that I am a polymath capable of relating the multiple systems under a global template of a WorldPeace Advocacy.
The problem with the global trend toward isolationist, nationalist governments is that we now live in a global community most obviously connected by economics. The world is so integrated economically that world war, a global war, will cause consequences to the aggressor. Further, problems like global warming and killer asteroids and the dangers of AI cannot be solved by one nation. And each day the world human society becomes more integrated across all aspects of the Earth Dreamscape. The isolationists/nationalists really cannot wrap their head around the necessity of a global approach to many aspects of the rapidly evolving world human society.
In order to resolve this, the world human society must become more spiritual. One simple example is if there was a greater consideration given to reincarnation then it would impact on the world human society’s view of global warming and fossil fuels which are destroying the Garden of Eden which is the earth. There is no Planet B for human beings to migrate to. All the planets that science has taken a close look at are essentially deserts.
Therefore, destroying the Garden of Eden into which one will reincarnate is insanity.
Human beings cannot survive on the moon or Mars without those colonies eventually, sooner or later, having to confront the issue of genetic manipulation to make the earth bodies able to survive on an other-than-earth planet off-world.
So what I am saying is that poetry and art need to be weaponized in a sense to increase the metaphysical truth that will erode the attachment to the Earth Dreamscape as the true reality.
Poetry and Art if emphasized, will disengage the attachment to the Earth Dreamscape which all religions says is the path to hell using the current metaphor for hell. The Earth Dreamscape is a darkness that can be experienced without descending into darkness and confusion if a human being remains focused on the fact that the Earth Dreamscape is a mirage; a mirage that according to Jesus can be manipulated with focus. A mirage that can move toward a positive more expansive human being experience if the world human society understands that it has this power. Every highly successful human being in any field of endeavor has used the power of visualization to reach the apex of their career. But that process is not understood as being the core of Spirituality. Spirituality is the channel to access information to increase success in any earthly endeavor; bad or good. As the Tao te Ching says, the Way, can be used for any purpose.
The major entities that are charged with maintaining and increasing the level of peace in the world human society are governments, the legal systems and religions. All have failed to manifest a significant level of WorldPeace. They are all presently stagnated if not counterproductive.
My objective is to break the log jam. In these three areas, I have significant education, formal and personal, and significant experience. I am a polymath in these areas as well as in art and poetry and writing and other areas. No one has my resume. No one is as qualified as I am to be the one and only Global WorldPeace Advocate. In America, politicians do not have an understanding of world religions even as they work in a democratic government that gives equality to all those non-Christian religions. American law dictates tolerance for all religions, races, genders. (What is laughable is that the conservatives demand that the Constitution be strictly interpreted when the American Constitution is the most liberal Constitution on the planet.)
My signature mantra is “How can we increase the level of peace on earth if we do not include everyone (all races, all religions, all government, all genders) in our vision of peace?” An American, White, Male, Christian view of WorldPeace will never work because it is an elitist exclusive homogenous mindset and WorldPeace is all-inclusive and democratic.
Being a member of any group dictates a grounded, exclusive elitist mindset.
Homo sapiens have terminated all other human species; of which there were many. Now homo sapiens are focused on further homogenizing the world human society and that is the foundation of conflict globally. White, American, Male, Christians are the apex predators in the world human society.
Now to get back on track. All religionists and all spiritualists speak out against becoming attached to anything in the Earth Dreamscape. The core impediment to increasing the peace in the world human society is confusion in believing that the finite mortal Earth Dreamscape is the true reality and the infinite immortal Spiritual Dimension is subordinate to the Earth Dreamscape.
The more attached a human being is to aspects of the Earth Dreamscape, the more confused they are and the more confused they are the less the level of peace and WorldPeace in world human society.
Poetry, my poetry, is a moment to moment reminding human beings that they are walking in two dimensions of the Infinite Potential; the Spiritual Dimension and the Earth Dreamscape. My poetry is a conscious connecting up of these two dimensions in every experience of being human. The Soul uses the disposable human body (vehicle). Not the other way around.
My metaphysical poetry is a reality check on human beings who are confused and who have subordinated their infinite immortal spiritual soul to their finite mortal human body desires.
This answers the questions related to my level of production of poetry. I see the spiritual relationships in everything I experience through my human body; from looking at a rose to evaluating the darkness of every act of Donald Trump.
A huge problem with the current world human society is the emphasis on science and math and the subordinating of art and poetry. Donald Trump behaves as if there is only this Earth Dreamscape. He gives little or no consideration to the Spiritual Dimension. Americans and the world human society is worse off due to the leadership of Donald Trump.
My poetry and art have kept me sane in an insane world human society. We are all strangers in a strange land: metaphysics will make the Earth Dreamscape less strange.
My flagship website https://johnworldpeace.com discusses nothing but metaphysics.
I am not a guru, master, priest, preacher. I have no organization, no followers, nothing to join, no disciples. I am the fool on the hill. I experience the Earth Dreamscape and write about it and write about how I navigate it so as not become lost in it. I hope my revelations will help others to find clarity in the Earth Dreamscape.
I am a teacher of teachers for the most part. I believe that to follow anyone is to lose oneself and to become enslaved. You are not me and you can use some of what I relate about my interaction with the Earth Dreamscape but we are different and all that I believe and experience will not work in your unique life.
According to Hebrews 8: 10. All the answers are inside a person in their individual hearts and minds. This is the foundational principle of this Earth Dreamscape which is one dreamscape among infinite dreamscapes.
I will have published in the next couple of months my autobiography in 4 volumes. 1) My typical standard autobiography. 2) My 2008 prison journal relating my experience as a political prisoner and which gave me my bona fides as a WorldPeace Advocate. 3) My poems 4) My book of personal miracles which relates how ordinary people can navigate this Earth Dreamscape with a greater degree of peace and harmony.
B. The Conscious Influence of Poetry on Dr. John WorldPeace JD
The following is about how poetry has driven my life. It has been my “guide on.” I am a follower of Jesus but not a corporate Christian religionists or a religionists of any kind. I belong to no organizations that are not imposed by law. As I said above, all homo sapien organizations are elitist and exclusionary and WorldPeace is all-inclusive and democratic cosmology/philosophy of life.
1) I have a distinct memory of waiting somewhere in the universe without a body in front of a wormhole guarded by two Roman soldiers. I was having a conversation with other souls, and when it was over, I was pulled into the wormhole and into my mother’s womb at the moment of conception. I tell people I came into this reality with God and I have never lost my faith. I am not a reborn Christian. I have preachers say they don’t believe anyone who says this. My mother insisted we go to church 49-50 Sundays a year. Church and Sunday school every Sunday. Nothing much on any other days. I did that until I was 18 and started college and was working full time.
2) At 8, I was a happy little kid who loved playing alone with is toys. Then I heard someone say that everyone dies. I thought WTF. I am going to die. If that is true, why did I come here? I put away my toys and began my quest for metaphysical answers even though I did not use that terminology. I very quickly realized I had some kind of global involvement in my future. I began to ask the kinds of questions to which Christians give the fall back response. “God only knows.” I never believed that. I knew someone or someones, alive or dead, had or have the answers. And I began to realize I was going to have to look at other religions for answers. But I did not tell anyone this. I did not want to deal with the negative attacks especially from Christians who classify all knowledge outside the Bible as inspired by Satan.
3) I loved the poetry of some of the Psalms and certain Bible verses which were like poetry.
4) I was a C student at every level of my education because of boredom. Were I a kid today, I would have been out of high school by 10 with a computer and home study. My IQ is in the top 1%. I would have registered even higher but I had a small vocabulary because I did not want to talk over the heads of my family and extended family. The lack of vocabulary caused me to miss at least 3-5 logic questions on the Mensa test because I did not know the words. I have 10 years of college, 3 degrees and from kindergarten, to graduating with a law degree, I was bored in every single class. All the classes went too slow for me.
This may seem strange, sometime in the first year of college, I realized that what I was forced to learn, was not really learning for me but remembering.
5) When I was about 14, I saw an article in the insert in the Sunday newspaper about a kid who was playing baseball with one arm. It was a watershed moment for me. I thought what could a person with good health, a higher than average awareness and ability to learn and unlimited energy accomplish with a focused distant run through life? I went to work for my uncle in the Summers at 14; half the Summer I went to Summer school to catch up. Fine with me. There was nothing to do at home. My second-grade teacher told my mother I was retarded. My mother would not accept it. I went to Summer school every Summer I was in school from 2nd grade until I graduated from college with my law degree in 1984.
6) In high school, I was profoundly influenced by
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
This gave me a perspective that it did not matter what I did; the only thing that mattered is that I tried my best.
And I guess the hope that one day I would be worthy of Jesus saying to me.
“Well done, good and faithful servant.”
About this time, maybe the same class I read
“ For all your days be prepared
and meet them ever alike
When you are are the anvil bear
when you are the hammer strike.”
This opened my eyes that a life of pacifism was not a realistic way to increase the level of peace in the world human society.
7) In the 11th grade, I was sitting in the counselor's office and she was setting me up for some aptitude tests off-premises. While she was away from her desk, which was an old 40s oak desk with a glass top, I saw 2 or three lines of some quote under the glass.
“ Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
This was the third watershed moment in my life. I realized I was going to basically work twice as hard as anyone I knew or would probably ever know. Good. Life goes pretty slow so I can speed up and expand.
8) Some time in my teens I latched onto Jesus’ saying, “Ask receive, seek find, knock enter.” I did not fully understand that until about 20 years ago. But I never stopped meditating on it.
A couple of years ago I put it all together.
I am a Spiritual Christian, not a Corporate Bureaucratic Christian. I absolutely believe in the Resurrection. I absolutely believe in the following words of Jesus because I believe in Hebrews 8:10-11.
“Ask and it will be given you, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds and to those who knock it will be opened.”Mt 7:7
“If you have the faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to the mountain move and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Mat 17:20.
“Truly, truly I say to you, if you believe in me you will do the works I do and greater works will you do because I go to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name I will do it for the greater glory of the Father through the son. Whatever you ask in my name I will do it” Jn 14:12
We write our individual and group scripts in life.
When God through a prophet appointed a king, God owned the bad acts of that king. In a Democracy, the citizens appoint a king and they own the bad acts of that king. So when Donald Trump denies health care to the poor, Christians own it personally. And Christians believe in Jesus who said you own every negative thought and deed and these will be judged.
So when a woman is legally denied an abortion by laws which do not simultaneously provide for entitlements for that unwanted child, Christians own all the abuse that unwanted child bears in life. That is the reality of the true message of Jesus that radical Fundamentalist and Evangelical Christians refuse to discuss. It is a metaphysical issue. It is why Jesus said few get into heaven.
The Book of Revelation is a false book of a doom and gloom future set in stone and I reject it because it is contrary to the teaching of Jesus I have quoted above that we script our reality individually and as a group and because in my day to day life all my life I have been a witness to the truth of the above scripture. We are presently living the beliefs and actions of the world human society in the past; and in our personal life, the choices we have made and the things we have believed all throughout life. Through art and poetry these issues will have a better chance of being discussed.
8) After college in August 1970, and before entering the Army two months later in October 1970, I went to work selling life insurance. At that time I heard for the first time
Success is a journey, not a destination.
This helped me see that all my shortcomings on my path were just part of the path. In 1993, I read the Tao te Ching and saw this repeated in the framework of don’t get into dualism. Just do you work and move on along.
And the same year I saw another collateral from Zen,
Chop Wood, Carry Water.
Meaning just do your work.
9) In 1986, I bought a book “101 Famous Poems” and I saw
William Ernest Henley’s “Invictus”
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced or cried aloud
Under the bludgeonings or chance
My head is bloodied, but unbowed
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishment the scroll,
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
10) In 1993, my second wife and I moved to Denver, Colorado to get away from my first wife who abandoned our marriage and a year later our children in 1988.
I had been an attorney, accountant, tax preparer, insurance salesman and had been self-employed in all those areas as well as having the formal education.
In order to keep my first ex (who I relate to as the Snake since 1987; I needed to keep myself reminded of what I was dealing with) from creating chaos in mine, my second wife and my children’s lives who were living with me, I took a menial job in warehouses at $7 an hour so the Snake would not file some court action to take back the two remaining children my second wife and I were raising. They had been traumatized enough.
I was not going to let 3 years of my life go by with nothing to show for it. So, I decided to re-interpret, not translate, the sacred books of the world’s major religions. It took three years. I put a WorldPeace spin on those sacred words. I reinterpreted the Bhavagad Gita, the Tao te Ching, Analects of Confucius, the Buddhist Dhammapada, the Koran, the saying of Jesus that were quoted in two of the 4 gospels and the Gospel of Thomas. I looked at and wrote about Zen Koans and Haiku and the Tibetan Book of the Dead and the Book of Job.
I was amazed to find that the Tao, the Dhammapada, the Book of the Dead, Zen, the Bhavagad Gita were basically poetry.
I acquired a lot of knowledge about poetry in reworking those sacred texts.
10) The point of the above is that not only have I learned something about writing poetry, I have what I consider an unofficial Ph.D. understanding of world religions and spirituality. And that understanding has dramatically expanded my world view and given me another huge reservoir to draw upon in writing poetry.
11) Somewhere along the way, probably 1976, I discovered Rudyard Kipling and “If”
My life has been this poem. I have lived all of it in spades.
I reject the last line as being gender specific and did not reproduced it below.
Rudyard Kipling - 1865-1936
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream and not make dreams your master;
If you can think and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it
11) In 2002, I ran for governor of Texas in the Democratic Party. I found them to be corrupt just like the Republicans, and I seriously significantly challenged them. I told them if they pursued their plan Texas would go Republican (It had been Democratic since Reconstruction ).
That is exactly what happened. Texas will never again be a Democratic state.
For payback, the Texas Democratic Party put the State Bar on me to take my license to practice law, which I was sick of after 20 years anyway. In 2003, I was illegally disbarred (The judge lacked jurisdiction over the individual complaints because he was not appointed to hear but one of them AND the State Bar only plead for monetary damages, not disbarment.) I appealed to the Supreme Court of Texas, which was a joke. I was being punished and being made an example of. I was about to go into the Federal Courts when others things took precedence. (Lack of Jurisdiction has no applicable statute of limitations.).
I have not had the time to get vindication, and in 2008, I pled to a sentence of resisting arrest and knocking down and kicking a U S Deputy Marshall, trying to serve me with a CIVIL BENCH WARRANT to appear in my mother’s Bankruptcy. I have never had a fight in my life. Even in the Army. But no one can overcome the lying testimony of a cop in court. That is why I pled guilty to a misdemeanor and accepted the max sentence of a one year. They then tried to overcome the plea and could not. A felony could have cost me 20 years in prison. You never gamble for more than you can afford to lose. So I plead out.
12) When I entered jail December 23, 2007, I expected the worst-case scenario that I would have to serve the entire sentence day-to-day. No good time. They put me in South Texas in a substandard (illegal) contract prison instead of sending me to the Federal Prison in Oklahoma which would have been like a cakewalk. In the last 5 and a half months of my sentence, I was in solitary confinement. I was out of my cell 13 hours in 5 and a half months. They were trying to break me. It did not work.
Like in Colorado in 1993, I was determined not to come out of jail with nothing to show for the time. I did not. I wrote a 1200 page novel, Reorganized the four gospels including the Gospel of Thomas to delete the repetitions. You can see that at http://www.thepurpleorderofspiritualchristians.com/thegospel.asp
I have responded line by line to Rich Warren's “The Purpose Driven Life”, written a biography of St Francis, kept a prison journal 572 pages, Wrote a 100 poems, Wrote my autobiography which will be published in a couple of months about 600 pages. All in all about 3000 pages of 250 words each. Being in solitary gave me solitude to do this. I also read 55 novels.
13) I would say at this point that until June 2018, my life had much PTSD associated with it. I wrote a lot and processed a lot and painted a lot and had no time to market anything I had done. I have 82 books on Amazon, mostly poetry. I have not tried to market any of them.
I am running for President as the Independent Maverick write-in Candidate for President 2020.
At http://impeachpresidenttrumpusa.com/ you will find my Commentary on Donald Trump since he was elected. That is already about 3200 pages after I edit it down. I also have my notes on the 2002 Governors race in Texas to be published.
14) Theodore Roosevelt:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
15) Helen Keller:
Life is a daring adventure or nothing.
Alfred Lord Tennyson - 1809-1892
He clasps the crag with crooked hands;
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ringed with the azure world, he stands.
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt, he falls.
17) I have lived my life by poetic inspiration from many sources. Poetry is in decline and quite frankly it needs a champion to bring it back to the forefront of the world human society.
I know its power. That is why I can write so much. All great men and women have a large body of work from which maybe one percent or less is well known as inspiring. But that one percent has dramatically changed the world.
18) My flagship website https://johnworldpeace.com has 15,000 pages on it. The above is just a very shorthand rendition of those 15,000 pages.
Thanks for your consideration.
Dr. John WorldPeace JD
C. What is a poet?
A poet is someone who can see behind the façade of something, no matter what, to the spiritual essence of that thing. Seeing God in everything as part of its essence. The poet does not have to seek it out, that essence is always there.
Then a poet writes what he or she is experiencing in an abstract language, a poetic language. A poetic language unique to him. A language that he has developed over his career as a poet which began with the first poem written.
I think someone who does anything for 50 years creates an internal spiritual beauty in his work. His unique art that cannot be copied by anyone. Imitated yes, but not copied; his spiritual signature.
I cannot recite you one poem of mine. I do not recognize them until I read them. I read my poems often but when I close the book, I cannot tell you what I read after 5 or minutes unless I intended to remember it.
I think of what I have written as nothing. unworthy. trash. And then I open my book and read and then I say “oh yes” I remember that poem. Or maybe I do not remember. But as soon as I shut the book, I again forget it.
Writing a poem becomes a natural act. I feel a calling and I sit down and write. I say thank you God for this insight, for this gift. I say thank you to the muse that brought it to me. It is a blissful experience.
I write and stack up the poems and then joy in seeing that stack; joy in mentally feeling that stack. It is a precious thing. The pen and the paper are precious in that they allowed themselves to be used to record that moment or those moments of bliss as the poem flowed out of me.
I really am beyond what anyone thinks about what I have written. Some of my poems are ugly children. But I love them. They chose me as a channel at the time I needed the experience. I wish I could have connected with my children the way I connect to my poems, or my art or anything else I engage. But children are incarnate souls with their own agenda. Children are of your body not your soul. And the human body is dust.
Something my children, or anyone gives me, that they made, is a bliss greater than the one who gave it. The thing given has a life of its own and it is a single purpose life of a connection between me and whoever gave it to me.
I could never value a store-bought gift. A make-do gift. An obligatory gift. If you gave me a mud pie with a smiley face on it, I would cherish it. You could give me a Rolls Royce and I would have some connection to it but not like the mud pie you made for me. Made with an intention to give it to me. Made with your energy contained in it, on it.
I have found no one that could get that loving energy off the things that I made and gave to them. That is really sad. Incredibly sad. It is the reason the world is so predatory and there is so little love in the world human society and the accumulated love of the world human society is so low.
I went to elementary school with a guy named Bobby. And to his mother he was an awesome gift. Bobby really hated her for the smothering. He discounted her love because it was total. I was sad when I witnessed his abuse of her which was always. He was a very precious gift and I am sure she could not really believe that he hated her. Surely there were times when he gave her some love and that was enough for her.
I was in that position with wives and lovers and my children. Even the smallest amount of love was adequate. But I would not allow myself to be like Bobby’s mother. There was a limit as to how much I would give to an unloving person who would not or could not return it. I was never going to live my life, this life, totally for someone else.
I had things I committed to do before I was born and nothing was going to subordinate that; which made me unloving. Love is complicated. And I doubt many people are ever successful in creating that experience. Just too many distractions in life. My father’s parents had it and I saw it every time I was around them.
If you want to be a poet write. Never push that energy off or away. Stop what you are doing and record it. Or make enough notes about it that you know you will be able to flesh it out later.
Read spiritual literature. Not religious but spiritual. Spiritual literature is something between you and God, with no intermediaries critiquing. You make that connect and you feel the bliss. And move on.
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